Thoughts and Feelings
by Andrea Siegel
Feelings and Memories: joys, successes, accidents, failures, rejections, chance encounters, disappointments, traumas and catastrophes, happiness, ecstasy, anger, frustration, lack of love, kindness, care, attention, support, fear, people, phrases, songs, music, smells, touch, stories, films, images, bright lights and the dark.
Nature, museums, sports, the arts and design.
A sad sight in the street. Poverty. Extravaganza. The absurd. Normality. Sickness, strength.
Everything that you have ever experienced starts to live inside your head and with time develops further. You might want to bury them deep, under some pleasant, comforting, superficial needs. There, they build up and once strong enough, emerge powerfully when a trigger hits them hard.
A smell, a look, a note, a poem, a person, a pet, a plant. It could be anything, anywhere, anytime.
Can you handle them?
They might keep you awake at night, make you scream or urge you to step up for yourself and change your behaviour; become a vegan, exercise more and don’t let anybody ever abuse you.
Memories and feelings live their own lives inside, representing what needs to be taken care of, by making appearances unexpectedly.
Make them your priority, listen to them closely, share a drink or a meal; some quality time together.
Otherwise, feeling dissatisfied, hungry for your love and attention, they come back again.
Sometimes threatening, other times gentle reminders of kindness and successes.
No need for others' approval, you are loved already.
Encouraging ideas and dreams create inspiring visions and stories.
Most of the time though they remind you of people who had never believed that you are special, worthy of love and good enough.
They said nobody would ever want you.
You try to ignore them and breathe. Deeply.
But they keep coming back, at night or via small people's words who don't see your value and want you to give up entirely.